First, before I start, let me get this out of the way. This post is not meant to attack people with obsessive disorders. If there's one thing I understand, it's that sometimes, you have to do something even when you know it makes no sense.
Now that that's out of the way, this post IS meant to attack baby men who have no self respect.
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In the office building where I work, there seems to be a germ epidemic. It seems that every time I go number 2, some guy comes into the stall next to me and spends about a full minute preparing a toilet paper cover to protect his bottom from whatever scum is on the seat.
These men aren't my coworkers, just the people in other office suites. I've noticed a few things that seem universal amongst these guys.
They are always wearing khakis.
Once they've entered the bathroom and before they get to the stall, they tend to make a lot of weird breathing noises that seem completely fucking innappropriate for a work environment.
Oddly, once they've gotten to the stall (maybe once they've realized I'm in the stall next to them) they become extremely quiet.
So with those common attributes, there are a few different options for what exactly is going on with these guys, and here are some of my thoughts on it-
1. These guys are absolutely terrified of shitting. They wait forever to go to the bathroom because doing so is terrifying. Once they get to the bathroom (where I try and take a normal shit in peace, a little vacation from my workday) they are worked up trying their hardest not to unload some turds into their khakis, causing them to breath like dogs.
Actually, those are my thoughts on it. They are afraid of shitting, afraid of public bathrooms, afraid of germs, afraid of being offensive. I started this post off being irritated about the time it took these guys to create their little toilet paper seat cover but now all I can think of is the awful snorting noises they make coming in.
PS - toons4biz, fuck you
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